the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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