You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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