You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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