I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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