How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
