Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
