i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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