I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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