Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
