I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
