just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize