There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
