Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
