I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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