I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
