at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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