This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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