Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
