My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
