It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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