you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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