I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
