Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
