wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
