And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
