You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
