dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize