4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
