areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Nicole vs. Life
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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