K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
