Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis

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(561): View more from Florida

My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..

Fav 43 971 6549
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(248): View more from Michigan

I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!

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(951): View more from California

My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now

Fav 13 4795 1902
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there

Fav 6 2513 859
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.

Fav 1 691 1065
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(217): View more from Illinois

Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.

Fav 0 25 10
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(561): View more from Florida

Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold

(561): View more from Florida

Either that or it dispenses candy

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