Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
