we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
