I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
