when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm passing your future prison.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
