It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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