honey bunches of taint.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
