He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
