He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
