i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
