On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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