god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
