I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
