I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
