I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
