she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
