i don't like sucking hair
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
