"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
