I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize