In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
