I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize