Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
high people should be assigned attendants
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
