this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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