I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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