I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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