you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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