i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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